Tiger Woods suffers thru tough 2010. Hookers. Public embarassment. Divorce. Corporate contracts lost. Earnings take huge drop. Only earns over $74M on a year. Elin planning to buy another country. Amatuer hookers everywhere hold out hope.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20101231/sp_nm/us_golf_woods_earnings

Man robs bank. Wearing Hillary Clinton mask. Once arrested charges will include failure to wear out of date pants suit. Witnesses say man was African-American, salt and pepper hair, thin build and mumbled something to the effect of "disagree with me, will you?"

http://www.politico.com/click/stories/1012/hillary_clintonmasked_man_robs_bank.html

Kim Kardashian cashes in bigger than any other reality "star". In other news, researchers announce American TV viewing IQ now averages 9. Kardashian to invest in new helium breasts, plans to audition for Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2011.

http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2010/12/07/kim_kardashian_is_the_highest_paid_rea

Federal Government announces list detailing millions of jobs created by the stimulus. Jobs guaranteed to get the economy going again full-bore. Workers celebrate. Bills being paid. Housing sales about to skyro.....huh......you serious?....really? OK, never mind. Move along, people. Nothing to see here.

http://hotair.com/archives/2010/12/06/new-fed-study-suggests-net-job-creation-from-porkulus-was-zero/

Hugo Chavez blames America for heavy rains in Venezuela. Mother Nature delivers bolts of lightning into Palace plumbing system while Chavez relieving himself as reminder of who is really in charge. Citgo gas stations mysteriously disappear into massive sinkholes. Crowds gather in Boston seeking to replace Fenway "Citgo" sign with one giving middle finger to Yankees fans.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/idUKN0517626320101205