President of FIFA looks forward to uniting the planet at the World Cup in Qatar 2022. Everyone except gays. Conveniently forgets while accepting bribe cash from Qatar to rig the final vote about their Draconian laws. Elton John demands ticket refund. Global Hookers Union files lawsuit. Cast of every "Bravo" network show goes into mourning.

http://offthebench.nbcsports.com/2010/12/13/fifa-president-homosexuals-should-refrain-from-sexual-activities-at-2022-world-cup/

Hugo Chavez blames America for heavy rains in Venezuela. Mother Nature delivers bolts of lightning into Palace plumbing system while Chavez relieving himself as reminder of who is really in charge. Citgo gas stations mysteriously disappear into massive sinkholes. Crowds gather in Boston seeking to replace Fenway "Citgo" sign with one giving middle finger to Yankees fans.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/idUKN0517626320101205