Hugo Chavez blames America for heavy rains in Venezuela. Mother Nature delivers bolts of lightning into Palace plumbing system while Chavez relieving himself as reminder of who is really in charge. Citgo gas stations mysteriously disappear into massive sinkholes. Crowds gather in Boston seeking to replace Fenway "Citgo" sign with one giving middle finger to Yankees fans.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/idUKN0517626320101205

Camden NJ slashing police jobs. City recently named 2nd most dangerous city in America. Chuck Norris offers to assume PD leadership for 1 day. Concrete wall to be erected around city with entire cast of "Jersey Shore" assigned permanent relocation.

http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2010/12/02/camden-city-council-approves-massive-police-and-fire-layoffs/

Angelina Jolie refused to celebrate Thanksgiving. Claims holiday is designed to celebrate the slaughter of the indigenous North American population. "Shut up and just act" tag applies.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1333690/Angelina-Jolie-cancels-Thanksgiving-6-children.html