Kathy Griffin releases new plan to become more famous. Plans to harass and ridicule a 16 year old girl. Shark checks in and tells Griffin her jump came a LOOONG time ago. Researchers still seeking for clues to the last funny thing Griffin said or did.

http://www.popeater.com/2011/01/05/kathy-griffin-slams-willow-palin/?icid=maing|main5|dl2|sec1_lnk3|34632

Lindsay Lohan reveals why she didn't get starring role in Linda Lovelace biopic. Didn't want to portray drug addict. Lack of any discernable talent expunged from press release. Kettle and pot seek medical attention for unstoppable laughter.

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/12/exclusive-interview-lindsay-lohan-didnt-want-play-a-drug-addict-says-mom

Angelina Jolie refused to celebrate Thanksgiving. Claims holiday is designed to celebrate the slaughter of the indigenous North American population. "Shut up and just act" tag applies.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1333690/Angelina-Jolie-cancels-Thanksgiving-6-children.html