Kathy Griffin releases new plan to become more famous. Plans to harass and ridicule a 16 year old girl. Shark checks in and tells Griffin her jump came a LOOONG time ago. Researchers still seeking for clues to the last funny thing Griffin said or did.

http://www.popeater.com/2011/01/05/kathy-griffin-slams-willow-palin/?icid=maing|main5|dl2|sec1_lnk3|34632

Keith Olbermann labels FOX News "100% bullshit". FOX News programming whips Olbermann in the ratings every night. Olbermann forgets being busted numerous times on his own facts. Pot, meet kettle.

http://www.mediaite.com/online/keith-olbermann-fox-news-is-100-bullsht/

Man robs bank. Wearing Hillary Clinton mask. Once arrested charges will include failure to wear out of date pants suit. Witnesses say man was African-American, salt and pepper hair, thin build and mumbled something to the effect of "disagree with me, will you?"

http://www.politico.com/click/stories/1012/hillary_clintonmasked_man_robs_bank.html

Senator can't vote on START legislation. Claims he's too tired from all the recent voting. Constituents prepare to send him a letter to get off his wasteful a** and do the work you campaigned and were elected for. Sound heard is Nancy Pelosi stirring more Eye of Newt into cauldron for Graham voodoo doll.

http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2010/12/20/lindsey_graham_tired_start/index.html

NPR commentator apologizes for using the word "Christmas". All-time winner of the Holiday season "P.C. Assclown" tag. Santa's reindeer prepare to leave her a surprise in her stocking on Saturday.

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2010/12/20/nprs_nina_totenberg_apologizes_for_saying_christmas.html

Federal Government announces list detailing millions of jobs created by the stimulus. Jobs guaranteed to get the economy going again full-bore. Workers celebrate. Bills being paid. Housing sales about to skyro.....huh......you serious?....really? OK, never mind. Move along, people. Nothing to see here.

http://hotair.com/archives/2010/12/06/new-fed-study-suggests-net-job-creation-from-porkulus-was-zero/

Animal rights group blasts Sarah Palin for clubbing a dead fish. Palin offers to visit group offices for personal demonstration. In other news, Nancy Pelosi receives anonymous gift of halibut scented perfume.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1332543/Sarah-Palin-blasted-animal-rights-group-clubbing-fish-death-TV.html