NPR commentator apologizes for using the word "Christmas". All-time winner of the Holiday season "P.C. Assclown" tag. Santa's reindeer prepare to leave her a surprise in her stocking on Saturday.

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2010/12/20/nprs_nina_totenberg_apologizes_for_saying_christmas.html

British Red Cross bans use of anything that shouts "Christmas" at any of their facilities. Claims use of word, decorations or signs would offend Muslims. Santa Claus crosses UK asshats off his list. Elves ready to descend on London wearing kevlar jackets, shouting "All together now: "MOHAMMED!" French thrilled someone else has joined them in becoming spineless.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-152361/The-Red-Cross-bans-Christmas.html#ixzz18GIAmlB9

Women plan and execute shoplifting scheme using novel idea. Hiding stolen goods on their body. Between their rolls of fat. Easily arrested after going into cardiac shock running from police. Chase barely exceeds 10 feet. Wal-Marts across the Nation report severe lack of shoppers. Fat Bastard nailed as ringleader.

http://www.kfor.com/kfor-news-fat-roll-shoplifters-story,0,3781914.story

Woman wears bikini to airport in protest of patdown. TSA officials take note. Invite Kim Kardashian to fly as often as possible. Gameboy geeks rush to apply for job at TSA. Still have never seen a real vagina.

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/traffic/transit/Traffic-LAX-holiday-travel-thanksgiving-110384004.html?dr

School board decides to ban anything representing Christmas. Cites potential religious promotion. Santa straps tactical nukes onto sled for yearly visit. BONUS: "Made in Florida" tag stamped into politically correct skulls.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40351581