Pilot drives his plane into a sudden and harrowing dive. Admits he was moving his seat and hit the control column. Ghost of Leslie Nielsen seen while plane plunging to it's doom saying "And don't call me Shirley". Kareem Abdul-Jabbar denies being in the pilot seat.

Woman wears bikini to airport in protest of patdown. TSA officials take note. Invite Kim Kardashian to fly as often as possible. Gameboy geeks rush to apply for job at TSA. Still have never seen a real vagina.

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/traffic/transit/Traffic-LAX-holiday-travel-thanksgiving-110384004.html?dr