Billboards announce Jesus' return to Earth. Heavenly travel agent immediately contacts group and notes Jesus has vacation plans in Maui on that date. Offers Jeffrey Hunter instead.

http://www.freep.com/article/20101204/NEWS05/12040397/1319/Billboards-to-proclaim-Jesus-return

School board decides to ban anything representing Christmas. Cites potential religious promotion. Santa straps tactical nukes onto sled for yearly visit. BONUS: "Made in Florida" tag stamped into politically correct skulls.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40351581