Billboards announce Jesus' return to Earth. Heavenly travel agent immediately contacts group and notes Jesus has vacation plans in Maui on that date. Offers Jeffrey Hunter instead.

http://www.freep.com/article/20101204/NEWS05/12040397/1319/Billboards-to-proclaim-Jesus-return

NASA announces life can exist based on toxic chemicals. Joy Behar, Charles Rangel and Justin Bieber not available for comment.

http://www.nasa.gov/topics/universe/features/astrobiology_toxic_chemical.html