Wife finds hickey on husband. Not hers. Places permanent hickey on husband. Dry cleaners go into overdrive after receiving over 600 men's shirts needing emergency cleaning on collars.

http://boston.cbslocal.com/2011/01/31/man-stabbed-to-death-in-medford/

Tucker Carlson calls for Michael Vick's execution. Dogs everywhere applaud. Viewers also applaud that Carlson no longer has a regular cable show. Bow tie sales plummet.

http://tv.gawker.com/5720135/tucker-carlson-michael-vick-should-have-been-executed

Camden NJ slashing police jobs. City recently named 2nd most dangerous city in America. Chuck Norris offers to assume PD leadership for 1 day. Concrete wall to be erected around city with entire cast of "Jersey Shore" assigned permanent relocation.

http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2010/12/02/camden-city-council-approves-massive-police-and-fire-layoffs/

Angelina Jolie refused to celebrate Thanksgiving. Claims holiday is designed to celebrate the slaughter of the indigenous North American population. "Shut up and just act" tag applies.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1333690/Angelina-Jolie-cancels-Thanksgiving-6-children.html