Professor goes on national TV. Equates African-American fondness for dog fighting with abuse suffered by dogs being used to control them. When they were slaves. Tucker Carlson heard muttering "wish I had thought of that".

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/prof-melissa-harris-perry-ties-michael-vick-case-to-slavery-civil-rights-on-msnbc/

Tucker Carlson calls for Michael Vick's execution. Dogs everywhere applaud. Viewers also applaud that Carlson no longer has a regular cable show. Bow tie sales plummet.

http://tv.gawker.com/5720135/tucker-carlson-michael-vick-should-have-been-executed

Brett Favre streak of games started consecutively ends. Official web site wastes no time asking people to cough up $500 for a commemorative football. Favre to hold press conference and cry to convince gullible public. Breaks sound barrier and sets speed record going from legendary to lame-ass.

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/12/13/favre-tries-to-profit-from-end-of-streak/related/

NY Jets coach trips opposing player during live play. Caught on video. Receives double Jackwagon points for also being too stupid to realize everything at an NFL game involving plays and players is kept on video. Rex Ryan removes buffett privileges.

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2010/12/12/dolphins%E2%80%99-nolan-carroll-kneed-by-jets-sideline/

Man catches 405 pound tuna near San Diego. Miami Dolphins ownership caught unawares that Bill Parcells is looking for a new gig due to embarrassing play of Miami Dolphins. Store shelves in region immediately depleted of mayo and relish.

http://www.10news.com/news/26041055/detail.html

Fans booing NFL players. One player compares booing them to booing returning soliders from Iraq. "Stunning Asshat" tattoo permanently affixed to skull. Iraq vets offer him a 6 week tour overseas, all-expenses paid. Player immediately starts wearing skirts and calling himself "Corporal Klinger".

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/giants/2010/12/02/2010-12-02_giants_safety_antrel_rolle_compares_booing_nfl_players_to_booing_soldiers_coming.html

Full scale repica of Noah's Ark to be built. Near Cincinnati. Bengals fans see divine intervention, prepare for flood to wash away perennial loser. Skyline promises bread, loaves and chili to feed the masses.

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/12/01/full-scale-replica-of-noahs-ark-planned-for-outside-cincinnati/

NFL player who thanks God for all his abilities drops potential game-winning TD pass. Goes on Twitter and blames God for not being there when needed. Almighty heard laughing his/her ass off. Player opens locker and locusts descend on entire team.

http://www.tmz.com/2010/11/28/steve-johnson-buffalo-bills-game-winning-touchdown-twitter-god/