Princess Leia confirms the obvious. Nerd boys everywhere draw into fetal position after viewing comparison photos. Jabba the Hut sends coupons for "All You Can Eat" fast food joints on Tatooine.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1346488/Carrie-Fisher-admits-Im-fat-signs-Jenny-Craigs-new-spokesperson.html

Fans booing NFL players. One player compares booing them to booing returning soliders from Iraq. "Stunning Asshat" tattoo permanently affixed to skull. Iraq vets offer him a 6 week tour overseas, all-expenses paid. Player immediately starts wearing skirts and calling himself "Corporal Klinger".

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/giants/2010/12/02/2010-12-02_giants_safety_antrel_rolle_compares_booing_nfl_players_to_booing_soldiers_coming.html

George Lucas mourns the passing of Irvin Kershner, director of "The Empire Strikes Back". Funeral to be available both in standard 2-D and 3-d with deleted scenes from embalming.

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/687458/george_lucas_pays_tribute_to_irvin_kershner.html