Michael Lohan rushed to hospital with chest pains. Doctors treat chest, note duals pains in his ass cannot be removed without stronger measures.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1352370/Lindsay-Lohans-father-Michael-rushed-hospital-chest-pains.html

Man angry with airport search. Strips down to his underwear in protest. Fellow passengers said it was "no big thing". Inmates at local jail prepare for his arrival.

http://www2.timesdispatch.com/news/news/2010/dec/31/TDMET04-charlottesville-man-protests-airport-secur-ar-744888/

Grown man goes one entire year without any exposure to anything "Star Wars" related. George Lucas head explodes at mere thought. Man still cannot have sex with anything non-inflatable.

http://io9.com/5720677/my-year-without-star-wars